I recently read an account as written by Jack Nicklaus II in his book entitled, Best Seat In The House, where he shares 18 valuable lessons from his father, the golfing legend Jack Nicklaus.
Having just completed his second round at the Palm Beach County Junior Golf Association tournament in Boca Raton, Florida, young Jack (18 years old at the time) was at the scorers table signing his scorers when he got a call from his father. As the story goes, young Jack was frustrated with his play and began to share with his dad his entire round, stroke by stroke, form issues, misreads, etc. And he did so for about 20 minutes.
Young Jack recounts, “Dad listened, patiently and intently. He responded with questions about why I thought I might have made certain mistakes as I rehashed my 18 holes. When I told him I was having problem with my chipping, he promised we’d work on it when we both got home. He was so interested, generous, and genuinely wanted to hear about it. All of it. As I…finished, there was a short silence. I was about to thank Dad for calling me and say goodbye. Then he said, ‘Jackie, would you like to know how your dad did today?’ A little embarrassed, I quickly said yes, how did you do today? (And Dad said) ‘Well, I just won the U.S. Open.’ That was Dad.”
The younger Jack went on to write: “Dad taught me a valuable lesson that (day). It’s a lesson that I have grown to understand and tried to incorporate into my daily life as a husband and father to five children….a good parent always makes time to listen to his or her children.”
Amazingly simple, don’t you think?! No rocket science here. All things considered, what could wouldn’t want to know their dad was always interested in what was going on in life? Especially knowing they’d have dad’s ear at just the right time and for as long as it took to tell the story?!
Now I know that’s harder for dads of 2-year-olds still trying to figure the whole communication thing out. Stuttering, repeating, stuttering some more, starting over and over and over. But maybe it’s equally hard for dads of 17-year-olds who are constantly off spreading their wings here and there and everywhere—just trying to get the chance to listen. Y’all somehow have to be an entry on their social calendar…sheesh. Somewhere in between will be that sweet spot for sure.
Anyway, it’s listening with intent to understand your child and with intent to truly be present with your child. That’s a tall order for any dad. But that’s a goal worth shooting for every time.
Remember last week’s challenge? Keep the challenge going. Set aside at least 5 minutes each day with a (or each) family member and commit to locking eyes with them and practice listening to them so well that you’re able to write down at least 3 important things they mentioned and relay them back, so they know you were listening intently. Also, so if you can make them laugh while you stare at them. Laughter is next on my list (when I’m through with listening of course).
I would love for you to email me the results of your challenge with an action shot of you and your kid(s) or spouse and something funny that may have come up in your challenge to aaron@yourbetterlifecoach.com
